Free Will
I am very much in love with this girl. I knew I found the right person the moment we were introduced. I thought it was going to be easy for me to get her, but it has been hell. Her picture will not leave my mind. I made her know I will do anything under the sun to make her happy.
I dated another girl to delete the first girl from my memory, but it did not work. I had friends talk to her, but her answer was still the same. What do I do? If she will be mine, I will be faithful and love her all my life.
Jacob
Jacob, the only answer you will accept is yes. No matter what you think you could do for her in the future, it counts for nothing because you won't listen to her now. Your life will become easier when you realize your will does not get to usurp the will of others.
Wayne & Tamara
(From the column for the week of March 6, 2006)
The First Step
If a guy sees or knows a girl he fancies, and if he is a bit shy in asking her out, is there any other way he could do it?
Paul
Paul, inaction turns things into monsters when they are not. Vacillation, fantasy and worry immobilize us, but doing a thing resolves a thing.
Each day millions of guys ask girls out. Sometimes the girl says yes, sometimes no. Either way, the world keeps turning. The playing field is more level than you realize. You may be hesitant to ask, but girls often feel stuck, waiting to be asked.
We are never guaranteed the end result. We won't know what will happen until we act. That's life. Part of getting the job is going to the interview. Part of scoring the goal is taking the field. Part of getting the girl is asking the girl.
You could send flowers and a note, but why not be direct? Clean your slate and move forward. You're not asking for a kidney or a pint of blood, just a date. Taking action sets you on the path to success, whether this particular girl says yes or no.
Tamara
(From the column for the week of September 16, 2002)
Brave Heart
How do I make the first move? The lady I am interested in is a coworker. The glances we give each other are like two lost puppies trying to find their way home. It's obvious she wants me to make the first move. But since I'm a complete worm, is there an easy way to do it?
She is stunningly attractive. I think guys are intimidated by someone so lovely looking. I know there is no such thing as love at first sight, since it basically means infatuation. I don't want to be infatuated with her. I want to be where things could turn into real love.
I could just buy her a soda during lunch break and start talking to her, but she always sits with girlfriends. I don't want her to fall in the arms of another guy. I mean she could be my destiny.
Thad
Thad, there is no need to give this lady anything. Just ask if you can join the group she sits with and see what unfolds. Offers in the workplace require more thought than the dance floor. Rejection could affect both your personal and work life.
If she is not interested, widen your scope. You don't limit yourself to one store to find shoes. Whatever happens, don't be discouraged. When you ask out three women and get two no's, you have one more yes than you would have gotten doing nothing.
Tamara
(From the column for the week of February 5, 2001)
