A Second Opinion

        Frank Pittman's Grow Up!

   The nice thing about bookstores like Barnes & Noble or Borders is that you can give yourself 10 minutes over a double latte before deciding whether to take a book to the checkout counter.

   That is something we especially recommend with Frank Pittman's book Grow Up!  

   If you happen to pick up Frank's book, you might want to turn to page 227 and read item 4.  Frank recommends if your mate is having an affair, that you apologize for your many shortcomings.

   Flip the page and read item 10. Here Frank advises if you are considering divorce, get into therapy with someone who is pro-marriage, and "make clear your goal is to save your marriage whether it makes you happy or not…"

Item 11 follows logically from item 10.  Take Prozac.

 

  Let's see if we've got this right.  If your husband is a controller with a temper and a fondness for 14-year-old girls, stay married.  If your wife is a cheater and a drunk, stay in the marriage whether it makes you happy or not.  And take Prozac.  You'll need it!

  People like Frank Pittman want to throw out all the marriage vows except the last one: till death do us part.  

   Forget the fidelity part.  Forget love and honor.  Till death do us part is what Frank cares about, even though none of the rest of it is in your marriage.

  Frank Pittman holds the contract inviolable, while not holding the offending party to the terms of the contract.

   In doing this, Frank ignores the spirit of the contract for the fact of the contract.  He suggests even though you entered marriage for love, fidelity and security, you must now stay when you have none of those things.

  As Tamara Mitchell says, "I'm not sure some people are tethered to the universe in the same way as the rest of us."  But judge for yourself.  See if you don't think that a double latte is a better investment than Grow Up!

    (Frank Pittman is a psychiatrist and former advice columnist
for Psychology Today.)