Advice topics from Wayne and Tamara Mitchell's newspaper advice column Direct Answers.
Direct Answers from Wayne and Tamara Logo
   Home      Articles      All Advice Topics     Write A Letter                                                                                Editors & Publishers     Webmasters     Resources
 

Is It Love, Or Are They Just Goodfellas?

What the excessively clever don’t realize is that the same laws of life and behavior which apply to the rest of us, also apply to them.

   Let people talk long enough and they will always tell you who they are. So it is with the Hillary Clinton interview in Talk magazine (Sept 1999), except most commentators missed the point. Hillary’s excuses for Bill don’t matter. Lucinda Franks struck a nerve only once, when she asked Hillary if her marriage was mostly just an arrangement. Hillary flared. “Yeah, right! Like I picked him--this big, gangly guy with goldish hair looking like he just came off the boat, like some Viking.”

   So who do we believe? The young Hillary who told people time and time again, “My boyfriend is going to be President of the United States someday.” Or the candidate for senate who evaded the question?

   Why is this topic so hard for Hillary to deal with. Is this the missed stitch that ruined the afghan, the tragic flaw which foretold the spectacle to follow? People marry for wrong reasons every day: to escape from their parents, to find someone to take care of them, to acquire money or status... The list of reasons is almost endless. The one constant is they always say it’s love. Only after the relationship ends can they be truthful.

   It is common knowledge Hillary has always known Bill is a womanizer. She has never known a faithful Bill, not even when they were dating. He never chose her to the exclusion of other women, and she accepted the arrangement from the beginning. As the Goodfellas say, “It isn’t personal, it’s just business.” The business of politics.

   Bill’s infidelity is an affront to us, not to her. What hurts Hillary is the secret has been ratted out. Times have changed, the press no longer conceals these things, and the Clintons have had the misfortune to attract savage enemies.

   Hillary Rodham always wanted to accomplish things, not selfish or small things, but helpful and grand things. Things that could change the world, especially the world of families, children, and women. The one thing these three things have in common is marriage.

   It’s not a problem for the rest of the world if Hillary thinks a dog is a pony. But when she holds the dog out to us as a pony, it becomes our problem. What Hillary holds out as a marriage, looks to most of us like a life of abuse. What social program could she create to undo the damage of her example? If the first lady can’t escape an abusive relationship, how can she be an advocate for other women?

   Hillary’s life choices have taken away her ability to act from a superior place. She has become like Dick Morris. No matter how much you are intrigued by his cleverness or insight, you know deep down you can never trust him. Any role Hillary fills, any banner she waves, she diminishes. For the sake of achievement, she has sacrificed her integrity.

   Most of us want, and expect, someone who wants only us. Someone who is there with us, no matter what life brings. Someone who helps not hinders, someone who brings out the best in us. We want the person we can accomplish miracles with, the person we are absolutely ourselves with, the person who puts all others out of mind.

   That is what we want. That is love. That is the basis for marriage. To minimize or diminish what is essential in marriage, is to destroy marriage.

   What the excessively clever don’t realize is that the same laws of life and behavior which apply to the rest of us, also apply to them. Hillary has spent a lifetime covering up, concealing, and attempting to divert attention from the slipped stitch in the afghan. It keeps coming back again and again, woman after woman.

   How can she live honestly without going back and picking up the slipped stitch?

(Published September 1999)

© 1996-2014 Wayne & Tamara Mitchell
Privacy Policy / Terms of Service


Share