This is what an abusive relationship looks like.

   "Forgive. Turn the other cheek. Try harder. You're too sensitive. Life isn't supposed to be easy. Maybe he has a mood disorder."

   "What if it's me? But he loves me. He promises it won't happen again. The children need a father. Would any other man be better? Maybe he's just stressed. It could be worse."

   All these sayings are either said by, or applied to, the victims of abuse. But sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words, and that is the case with Rosalind B. Penfold's book Dragonslippers. Roz Penfold (the name is actually a pseudonym) was in an abusive relationship for 10 years.

   What started as love with an occasional nasty incident escalated into full-blown abuse. Roz kept a diary of what was happening, and when words failed her, she drew cartoons.

   She kept the cartoons in a box in the basement, and she kept the worst of her memories in a box in her brain. In time she found the strength to open both boxes and share them with the world.

   Dragonslippers is a powerful graphic illustration of what abuse looks like. It shows how abuse can start in the most innocent way, why it continues, and how it can end.

   An old saying proclaims, You made your bed, now lie in it. It's not true, and when even well-intentioned people say that to you, they are abusing you. In many situations, the only solution is to get a new bed.

From Dragonslippers:

--"I ignored the early humiliations and subtle mind games, and refused to believe this was happening, until I was lost in a quicksand of verbal, emotional, sexual, and, ultimately, physical abuse. My denial and shame kept me with Brian for 10 years. I clung to his promises, rather that what I saw and experienced. I spent all of my time trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and how I could make things better."

--"I never intended these drawings for publication. Sharing one's personal diary is not easy--and, at first, I felt shame. Then I decided that shame was the enemy."

--"One evening, Brian was preparing an employee's review. He began musing out loud, talking to himself. 'You know, it's interesting…work…politics…. It's really so easy to control other people. You just have to cause dysfunction. Once someone feels insecure, you can do anything you want with them."