Direct Answers from Wayne and Tamara - WayneAndTamara.com - where relationship advice questions are answered.
Wayne and Tamara Logo
   Home     Books      Articles      All Advice Topics     Write A Letter                                                              Editors & Publishers     Webmasters     Resources
 

A book review of:

   A Christmas Carol
              by Charles Dickens
  Book Review Highlights:
  The story is so familiar we almost forget the point.
   Even in our old age it is not too late to change...not too
    late to live the life which is our birthright.
 


"I have endeavoured in this Ghostly little book,
to raise the Ghost of an Idea..."

   The story is so familiar we almost forget the point. Even in our old age it is not too late to change. Even in our old age it is not too late to live the life which is our birthright.

   In Dickens' tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, an old miser is shown his past, his present, and if he does not change, his future.

   The first ghost reminds him how he once enjoyed life's pleasures. The second ghost shows Scrooge his current deplorable state. The final ghost foretells the likely outcome of his skinflint ways.

   A Christmas Carol is not so much a Christmas story as a New Year's story. For those of us who want to change the course of our life, for those of us who want this year's resolutions to actually mean something, we need to go through an Ebenezer-like process.

   Mine the past for its lessons, search the present for its patterns, and project where those patterns will lead us in the future. If those patterns lead to unhappiness, those patterns must be altered to lead us to better ends.

   Whether your life is a bad life or an abused life or a flat life, you can use the ideas from this simple story as a guide to breaking the patterns which lead to bad ends.

   You can read A Christmas Carol online here.

From A Christmas Carol:

--"External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty."

--[But after his transformation] "Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world."

--"Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him."

--"…and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!"

The classic film versions of "A Christmas Carol" feature Alastair Sim, George C. Scott, or Patrick Stewart in the role of Ebenezer Scrooge.



Search Amazon.com
 

 

 






Bookmark and Share


Advertisement


Lesson Learned

I was involved with a man separated from his wife.  We connected on an extremely emotional level and were in the process of building a future.  

His wife left him and their two children to accept a job in another state and to experience a more unencumbered life.  Prior to leaving she cheated on him three times and was emotionally and physically unavailable to her children. 

Unfortunately I let myself get drawn into his life and his children's lives.  I not only fell in love with him but also with the children.  I was devastated when he accepted her back with no questions asked, but I accept responsibility for getting involved and for the consequences of my actions. 

At the death of a loved one, when her family needed her most, she again abandoned her husband and children.  As I predicted.  He contacted me to let me know I was right.  As much as I hoped that would bring satisfaction, it didn't.  It brought only deep sadness. 

There is nothing I can do to make him see her for who she is.  How do I find peace knowing this cycle of coming and going will continue in his life?  I want what is best for all of them.  I know walking away is best for me, and I guess I am looking for confirmation from an objective outside source.

Tia

Tia, in "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, three ghosts come to Ebenezer Scrooge and alter the course of his life.  For you, the ghost was your companion's wife.

There is a line Scrooge says which we have never forgotten.  "Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead.  But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change.''  That is what the story is about.  It is also the story of our lives.

With the holidays approaching, it will be hard for you not to think about what might have been.   But with the holidays approaching, his wife may well reappear.  Even if she doesn't, her specter will never be far off, and he will be open to her return.

Hard as it is to walk away, it shows you understand the lesson from Dickens' tale.  Walking away opens the door to possibilities.  It opens the door to your fulfillment and to the promise of the new year. 

Wayne & Tamara

(From the column for December 9, 2002)